To Dildo Or Not to Dildo, That is the Question – for MEN, not Women!

Okay, pretty much every single caller I have had phone sex with knows more about sex and kink than me. I admit it freely and gratefully. There are times when I get off the phone with a caller and say out loud “Dang, I should pay HIM for that.” Benefiting from the experience and sexy know how of more experienced lovers is a delicious perk. HOWEVER, there is one issue that men at times seem to be perpetually ignorant of – the pussy.

Master of SexVirgina Johnson tests Clitoral vs Vaginal orgasm in

Showtime’s Masters of Sex

For example, Sigmund Freud stated that the clitoral orgasm was immature and inferior. This theory contends that when a woman matures, she receives greater pleasure through the vaginal orgasm provided by her husband’s penetration. You know when he said this stuff? Way the FUCK BACK in the early 1900s! It’s more outdated than Blockbuster. And yet today, in 2013, one of the first questions I am often asked is “Do you have a dildo?”
The question itself is not what makes me roll my eyes. After all, we’re having phone sex, so the context is quite appropriate. What kills the tingling in my pussy is the crestfallen response I get when I reply in the negative. There is a loud silence during which I can practically hear the wheels turning…”Oh no, she’s never gonna cum.” And then comes a barrage of desperate inquires on possible substitutes…

“OH..what about a banana? You gotta a banana? Everybody has a banana!”
“What about your hair brush?”
“What about your shampoo bottle?”
“Do you have ANY circular object?
“Water bottles?”
“Air freshener spray can?!”
“Are you sure about the banana?”

And then half-hardheartedly…

“Oh, yeah, of course you can just use your hand.”

Look, guys, I adore La Dick – sucking and bouncing on cock is the stuff of which all my masturbatory dreams are made of. But while those wonderfully lusty images are going through my head, I am more often then not fingering my clit. Why? To quote the 9th Doctor, cause it’s FANTASTIC! I love it. Softly circling the outside of my clit at first, teasing myself. Then when I get really wet, stroking high up on my clit where it feels so great my legs shake and my nipples tighten into pebbles. It feels so good I can’t breathe when I cum. It is not some second rate substitute for sticking a Glade can up my vajayjay. ; D

So Who Would You Rather Fuck?

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 The Sinuous Rose Tyler

                                                    Freema-freema-agyeman-33393087-500-750

                                                The Luscious Martha Jones

This query is inspired by a conversation with a caller I shall henceforth refer to as “Canadian Caper”. And it is actually a larger question than simply who would you rather “stick your dick in” as Canadian Caper puts it. In terms of life, the true question is: Does a person’s personality effect our perception of their physical attractiveness?

As you can see for yourselves, both of these women are utterly gorgeous creatures. Eminently fuckable. However, Canadian Caper made the outrageous statement that Martha Jones was the hottest Companion of all time. Now, if you don’t watch Doctor Who, you might not know…but thems fightin’ words!! The Doctor has been blessed with many hot companions – sassy Rose, sultry Amy, and sexy River Song to name a few.

But before there was River Song and after Rose was sucked into a parallel universe, there was Martha Jones i.e. the Ultimate Rebound Girl. Granted, the character had a hard row to hoe following Rose Tyler as the Doctor’s next Companion. Rose was the first and only Companion for an entire generation.  And she was the badass who took the power of the Tardis within herself and became the bitchin’ entity known as Bad Wolf a.k.a Defender of the Doctor, Master of Time and Space, and Defeater of the the Dalek Emperor. That’s a lot of titles. In addition, Billie Piper’s Rose combined with David Tenant’s Doctor had a giddy, first love type chemistry that was palpable on screen.

But Rose had her time and when it ended, there came Martha Jones, charging into the Whovian Universe with…well, I think it could be described as a dull kind of a thud. Like the rest of the world, Martha falls for the Doctor with nary a “hello” between them.  I don’t judge her for that. I would give up rainbows and chocolate forever to be the Doctor’s fuck toy. It’s understandable. But then Martha proceeds to make herself into the NEEDIEST and most OBNOXIOUS character in science fiction history. Remember in high school, when you winced every time that one girl made an idiot out of herself for the guy she had a crush on? Well, double that, multiply times 10, and that’s Martha Jones. Martha would sigh if the Doctor mentioned Rose’s name, pout if he smiled at another women, and gaze worshipfully if he gave her an absent minded compliment. One wondered how this girl who assisted the Doctor is saving worlds couldn’t manage her own self respect.

Again, obviously, the actress who plays Martha Jones, Freema Agyeman, is stunning. No question. However, it is my contention that the utter lameness of Martha’s character diminishes Martha’s desirability and Rose, through her awesomeness, is the clear winner in any fuckability stakes.  Canadian Caper argues that physical attraction supersedes Martha’s thoroughly annoying character, even as a Doctor Who fan.  I can’t say he is entirely in the wrong. Sexual attraction is initially based off a purely physical, animal response to the body. I suppose when you guys flip through Nite Flirt pics, you are choosing based on nothing more than instinctive physical response to a picture.

However, after calling, do you guys not want to hang up if the girl is boring or doesn’t have a clue about your favorite fetish?  If you are a Dom, wouldn’t it be less exciting to get another Dom on the line instead of a Sub? I propose that character makes sex, real and phone sex, hotter and the climax more explosive. That’s because there is something about your fuck partner, something in their personality, that truly turns you on. Conversely, sex with someone whose character does nothing for you, simply isn’t going to be as hot, even if there is a physical attraction.

And so, dear Canadian Caper, for all the reasons above but mostly because this is my blog and I have all the power in this tiny section of web space, I declare Rose Tyler the winner.  I concede I might simply be suffering a case of nerd rage. But I take comfort in knowing I couldn’t possibly be as bad as the fan boi insanity over Ben Affleck and Batman. Talk to you later, CC!

Billie Piper 1

Winning!

Still Pouting, but Horniness is gone…there is only grief. No one forgets their first Doctor.

I couldn’t take calls today. I knew it was happening. Like the desperate grinding of the piss poor lover who cums before you do, I felt the inevitability of it.

The Doctor is regenerating. And the joyous, eccentric, debonair figure that is Matt Smith’s portrayal of the Doctor will be no more come Christmas 2013.This wrenching reality became clear today with the announcement of the newest actor to step into the Time Lord’s shoes, Peter Capaldi.

If you have no idea what I am talking about, get your hand off your dick, zip your pants back up, and immediately check out Doctor Who on Netflix. Not. Kidding. You will be sucked into the wonder and you will be grateful.  The Doctor and his Tardis can get you off in ways I cannot communicate.

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Christopher Eccleston            David Tennant                              Matt Smith

capaldi-as-the-12th-doctor                                                           Peter Capaldi

As all Whovians know, the immortal Doctor must always die and regenerate into a new form.  It’s the sad fact which perpetuates the eternal journey of the Doctor and gives every portrayer a chance to add something new to the iconic character.  And it is as elemental to the story of Doctor Who as silk panties are to a Sissy.

But that doesn’t make it any easier to accept!  Matt Smith’s Doctor was vivid and thrilling.  He beat the bad guys with speeches and introduced us to the culinary masterpiece that is custard and fish sticks.  He brilliantly combined the wide eyed wonder of a child with age old weariness…all with a dash of the dashing.

To be fair, I hate every new Doctor when they first appear. I thought David Tennant looked ridiculous trying to fill out the 9th Doctor’s leather jacket…and it wasn’t long before I would have shamelessly begged him to sign my tit.  I thought Matt Smith looked like a 12 year old kid in the 10th Doctor’s suit…and it wasn’t long before I would have shamelessly begged him to sign my ass.

So eventually, I am sure I will be just as eager to serve my pussy up to Peter Capaldi’s Doctor…but not now. For now, I am going to go sulk unreasonably and watch Captain Tight Pants on Firefly.  Thank heaven some things are sacrosanct.

Pouty and Horny

My silly, unworthy boyfriend just called at the last minute to inform me he would not be coming over this weekend.  

We live in different towns, so in general I am accustomed to not seeing him for long stretches of time.  However, this is my first week as a Phone Sex Girl and I don’t mind telling you that I am horny out of my mind!  One caller in particular has got my pussy moistening and clenching hard at the mere thought of what we talk about.  I want to fuck and to fuck hard. I want to feel the weight of a man on top of me, his hips driving a relentless cock into my wet cunt.  I feel like a mare in heat who just wants to be covered.

Sexual frustration is a bitch!

I don’t even have the luxury of logging into calls right now, as there are currently half a dozen men in the apt next to me and another half dozen just outside my door.  You think this would only facilitate in appeasing my sexual needs, but no…they are….what have I heard it called…COCKBLOCKERS!  These fellows are construction workers who are working on the apt next over, and this particular crew has done work for my family as well.  I tend to get a rather loud during my phone fuck sessions and I don’t care to give a show that could be reported back to Father.  I literally am counting the hours until they are gone.

I must admit, seeing the sweaty men as they muck about is giving me some happy thoughts.  Rather brings me to mind of some yaoi (men on men baby) I enjoy by Yamane Ayano.

yamano

Girl Porn Rocks!

“I’ll Suck Four Dicks If I Want To! These Lips Aren’t Plump and Juicy For Esthetics!”

I wish I could take credit for the above quote, but no, these delightful words of wisdom belong to the stunningly funny Krissychula, a youtube paragon. As a connoisseur of human idiocy, Krissychula takes on the issue of how the world looks down on women for expressing sexuality, in this hilarious, 1 min 24 sec short.  In the year or so I have been indulging in sex, I have yet to have the opportunity to fuck another girl, but I would go down on this woman for her wit alone.

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But I was thinking about it, and it’s not just women who are condemned for expressing the need to fuck.  If you are into anything remotely considered outside the norm, the world comes down on you like a ton of bricks.  Human sensuality is as varied and unique as humans themselves.  When faced with a banquet of sexual pleasure, why do we have to limit our desires to a few boring standards? What good reason is there to deny ourselves the breathless arousal of a new sex toy or forbidden fantasy?

The beautiful thing about phone sex, for flirts and callers alike, is the platform to be completely open about one’s sexuality.  Raised in a conservative culture, I grew up with the understanding that “good” women did not openly talk about sex at all, even in the most generic terms.  As for Fetishes and Fantasies?  Forget about it! My previous fate involved virginity until marriage and then a lifetime of missionary with my nightgown hiked up and the lights turned off.  In the mean time, bored with my limited bedroom charms, my husband would probably have sought the company of an exotic concubine who gives it to him the way he really wants it.

dirty-talk

 

I want to do things that make my body sing and I am not ashamed to say so.  Anyone who has a problem with that can simply go fuck themselves, instead of me.  Trust me luv, it’s their loss. ; D

Bewildering Sex Signals Observation

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Okay, above is picture of two titans of the UFC who apparently have some 7 year feud facing off.  From the interview article here, these two are desperate to reclaim total victory over each other.  In fact, their upcoming match is touted as being “The biggest fight in history.”

But while the article is sending a message of aggression and rivalry, I personally am getting a whole different story from the above pic. I think these two might want to step back and think about what is really going on between them.  Perchance they are channeling their true feelings into competition to mask deeper passions?  If this is how hot and explosive they are when they are feuding, I bet they could have something amazing.

And if they really were trying to communicate “we are feuding” with that little pose, well, then they need to rethink their fighting stance.  If I saw two guys “arguing” like that in a club, my girlfriends and I would focus on getting advise on shoes instead of getting them to takes us home for some play time.  And that would be a shame, because I would go home with either one of these hunks faster then you can unzip your fly.

I swear, the hottest ones are always gay.  It’s a universal law. Zachary Quinto anyone? In any case, being sandwiched between these two gorgeous fellows will be a lovely thing to think about when I only have myself to play with.

The First Blog of a Flirty, Asian Phone Sex Girl!

Hello and Welcome,

I’m Tala, a Filipina American girl who is determined to live life unlimited by cultural restrictions.  If I followed the path I was born into, I would have remained chaste and pure in body until I was given to my husband in marriage.  I should be spending this time in my life devoted to my studies and participating only in activities which would facilitate becoming a more accomplished wife.  All that flew out the window with my First Time.

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It was only last year after graduation, on a family trip to the East Coast to visit friends of my parents.   Their home was positively palatial, with extensive grounds, a main house, stables, and a pool house.   The second day after we arrived I had wandered out of the main house, where the two families were gathered.   I walked around their kidney shaped pool, dipping my toes in a bit and enjoying the luxurious atmosphere before going into the pool house.

The interior of the pool house was just as plush.  Filled with expensive furnishings, a stocked bar, a flat screen TV…well, I was a little in awe.  I jumped on the bed a bit, then ran to the bar and poured myself a glass of one of the champagnes.  I remember it actually tasted awful, but I was enjoying the novelty.  Purloined bubbly in hand, I strolled to the sitting area and flipped on the TV.

And the first thing I saw was Porn.  Bent over with her hands braced against a wall was a petite, curvy Latina. Her short skirt was flipped open and a man was playing with her pussy with one hand and fisting her hair in the other.  He was ripped and shirtless, his jeans off just enough to see his cock jutting out.  I was fascinated.   The way her heart shaped ass would sway as she rocked her pussy back on the man’s hand. The smirk on his face as he let go of her hair and fisted his own cock and worked her pussy faster.

I was confused by the changes that occurred in my body as the images flickered across the screen.  The strange tightening of my nipples, the languorous sensations that seemed to coil in my belly and burn hotter in my pussy….as sheltered as I was, I truly hadn’t known my body was capable of feeling that way. I had experimented with touching my pussy a few times, because my girlfriends had told me it would feel good. Only I had felt nothing at the time and thought I might be frigid. Now, I could actually feel myself becoming wet just from looking.  I couldn’t stop staring at the screen, couldn’t stop squirming and squeezing my thighs together.  His cock in particular enthralled me….the way he teased her by rubbing it against her thighs made my own pussy clench.  Then I heard a voice from behind me…

“That one’s my favorite.”

Needless to say, I was scared out of my silly wits.  But that voice belonged to David, the brother in law of my father’s friend who was staying in the pool house.  It took him a while, but David eventually calmed me down, lol.  It was just…The. Best. First. Meeting. Ever.  On that day, he would go on to show me how to make myself come.  Over the course of that summer, David would go on to show me all the pleasurable things a woman’s body is capable of.  And, yes, he was the one to take my virginity.

I understand now, that the incredible burst of feeling human beings experience when we rub our bodies together is a GIFT…one that must have been given from the same forces that created Heaven and Earth.   And a woman’s total acquiescence to her fuck partner is an act of submission in which she both worships and IS worshiped. 

So religious and societal restrictions be damned, I am going to indulge in real life and phone fucking to my heart’s content.   I am going to explore every dirty and perverted idea that makes my pussy quiver along the way.  And phone sex is going to be an amazing part of that journey.  I love the idea that words can play on the body with the same power and heat as touch. 

Besides, I actually will be a more accomplished wife for my future husband.  But instead of cooking or sewing or running charity functions…I am going excel at deep throating cock and fucking in a dozen different positions.  Which set of talents would you prefer?